The president of The Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission, Dr. Richard Land, told listeners to his Richard Land Live show once about what his father used to say. According to him, a boy plus another boy equals half a boy. Add another and you get a third of a boy. He meant that the more boys there were in one place, the more immature they behaved. One of the first articles I sold concerned some mischief that my friend Daryl and I got into in grade one.
Before going home for lunch one sunlit day in February, I decided to give my hands a good scrubbing in the boys room. Instead of just turning on the tap and rinsing them, I put the plug in and filled the sink. After I finished, I pulled the plug and then dried my hands on a paper towel.
The sink suddenly made a loud squeaky, slurping noise. Daryl and I staggered around the room, laughing uncontrollably at the sound.
“Let’s do that again,” I exclaimed as I ran to the row of sinks. When I pulled the plug after filling the basin, we eagerly waited for the sound. We staggered around the room again as the sink squealed and gurgled.
Daryl and I repeatedly filled and emptied sinks for at least ten minutes. Then I had a brilliant idea. “Hey, Daryl, let’s fill the sinks and pull all the plugs at once.” The two of us eagerly filled the sinks to the brim.
“All right, Daryl,” I announced, “one, two, three, pull!”
We held our breaths as we waited for the water to drain. Suddenly, the boys room was filled with a quartet of squealy slurps. Both of us laughed harder than ever at the hilarious noises that the sinks made.
Then our grade one teacher spoiled the fun. She heard our merriment and bustled into the bathroom. After escorting us to the principal’s office, she called our parents to come and take us home. I don’t know how Daryl’s parents felt but mine were definitely upset. I sulked in the back seat of Dad’s Volkswagen as we drove home, convinced that my parents didn’t understand about my exciting discovery.
In 1964, my parents sent me to a school for the blind in Vancouver, British Columbia. Instead of going home each day, I had to wait until Christmas or summer holidays to return to my family. I wrote about those painful years in Deliverance from Jericho (Six Years in a Blind School). It and my debut memoir, When A Man Loves a Rabbit, are available at the Bruce Atchison’s books link. My newly-published How I Was Razed: A Journey from Cultism to Christianity testimony is available from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Virtual Bookworm.